


ERROR

by wunderstell



Series: Death & Strawberry [1]
Category: Bleach
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Possible Character Death, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-31
Updated: 2019-10-31
Packaged: 2021-01-15 08:02:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21250094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wunderstell/pseuds/wunderstell
Summary: Body lifeless against him, glass-like cracks crawling all over, blood sliding down pale skin... The image still haunted Ichigo Kurosaki. It's been two months since the war—two months since he wailed over her in his arms, two months since it was said Rukia would likely live but it would take time for her to wake, two months since Ichigo sat down in that chair by her bed. Sat there...and hardly strayed away.





	ERROR

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! This is an old fanfic I wrote waaaaaay back in 2012(?) and posted somewhere online. I revisited my old account and I'm so surprised and touched that people still read my old stuff and add them to their libraries. So I decided to put up all my old stuff here! 
> 
> I also suggest listening to VIXX's ERROR while reading :')  
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IF8kySIcWNw
> 
> Happy Angst-ing!

**× × ×**

_my heart was limping and this is the end of the road_

_after making that decision and taking a breath_

_I let out a deep sigh...I rip her up from my heart inside_

**× × ×**

No—this...this couldn't be happening. Couldn't be! She was one of the strongest people he knew...she couldn't be...she...couldn't—

"RUKIAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!" 

His scream echoed through the soot-covered air. Everything around him was burning...crumbling...dying. But he only had his eyes on one thing, one person. It felt like his world was in slow motion as he ran towards her—something pulling him through tar but not hard enough. Ichigo collapsed on his knees beside her, a look of pure and gnarled agony frozen in place upon his face. Rukia...she was in a heap on the rubble, bloodied and cracks all over her. How could a Bankai so beautiful destroy someone like this? How could one moment of distraction render her lifeless before him? 

"No...no no no no..." 

He pulled her into his lap, cradling her as if he would die if he didn't. Her Bankai had faded away, leaving this...corpse-like woman in his arms. This woman who he knew to be strong, who was his strength when he had lost it...she was—

The teen sobbed, burying his face in her hair. Rukia's Reiatsu was so faint, there was barely a flicker left in her. She was dying right there in his grasp and there was nothing he could do. He had failed to protect one of the most important people in his life. Again. He failed again. Knots tightened and contorted deep within his chest, suffocating his heart. Damn this war...damn it all to hell! They were supposed to make it out of this together, they were supposed to carry on with life the way it had always been. She was supposed to be with him, she was supposed to be by his side... 

He threw his head back, a mixture of mournful wail, pained howl, and broken sobbing escaped his throat. She couldn't do this, she couldn't do this to him! He suffered without her for seventeen months, thought Tsukishima was going to cut her down when she leaped in front of him, heard her faith from him while everyone was screaming in terror, saw her battered and lying in a hospital bed, but this...out of those things and everything else before...this... 

"You can't go...not like this..." Ichigo stared back down at her as if his pleas would reach her. "You can't die on us! Rukia!" His head dropped onto her shoulder, every ounce of him that still held that tearful little boy seeping out in his sobs. "You can't leave, Rukia...you can't—d-dammit...you're not going anywhere..." 

**× × ×**

_let me free_

_let me breathe_

**× × ×**

"Hey, is, uh...is Ichigo still in there?" 

The look across the tiny man said it all. He didn't need to answer the lieutenant. Renji heaved a sigh, running a hand through his hair. Two months had gone by since the war—two months since it was said Rukia would likely live but it would take time for her to wake, two months since Ichigo sat down in that chair by her bed. Sat there...and hardly strayed away. 

_ 'This isn't healthy. What's he gonna do if she doesn't make it?' _

Renji closed his eyes and shook his head, not wanting to think on either subject. If there was anything he didn't want to think about, it was two of his closest friends snuffing out...both in entirely different ways. Coffee pools opened and a weary smile appeared. 

"You've at least made sure that he's eaten, right?" 

"O-of course, Lieutenant Abarai, sir! Beg him constantly," squeaked Hanataro. 

"Well, that's good," he waved the skittish guy off, inviting himself to head to Rukia's room. "Keep up the good work." 

"I-I will, sir!" 

The tattooed man's smile faltered the minute his back turned. Couldn't even crack it at Hanataro's usual stutters of nervousness. Everything was a mess. And not just the Seireitei. The body count was massive, the coma and healing count was just as bad. And the mental breakdowns? Almost constant. One would think that Shinigami trained in the art of battle and to kill the enemy without mercy would be able to hold up just fine in a war scenario. But this war did more than just claim lives and victories. It destroyed souls. Even Captain Byakuya Kuchiki wasn't himself. He spent more and more time by the picture of Hisana since he and Renji discovered Ichigo wailing over Rukia's broken body...

_ 'I still have nightmares from that...' _

He shuddered, standing at her door. Ichigo...how would he look this time? Last time wasn't the Shinigami's best. There had been a slight drop in Rukia's Reiatsu, which caused the entire Squad 4 bunk to freak out and immediately rushed to see the cause. At that time, Ichigo, along with Renji and Byakuya, had been with Rukia...quietly talking about what they'd want to do once she woke. Chaos ensued once the room was full of healers. They demanded that the guests leave so they could work. Ichigo lost it. Went bat shit as Ikkaku put it. He did everything he could to not leave her, pleading that she needed someone she knew trusted in case she suddenly woke, even if it was Byakuya or Renji, he didn't want her to be alone when she opened her eyes. He had to be sedated, but Isane was kind and ordered that he was to be placed back in the room once they had the situation under control. But to see Ichigo in such a state—see him so frantic and distraught, almost broken down into insanity—it was hard to stomach. 

He took a deep yet shallow breath before turning the knob. The door willingly obeyed his cautious advances, even went as far as it kept quiet for him instead of that awful groan it usually greeted him with. He poked his head in carefully, holding back the urge to call out for his friends. What he saw...it had to be the most peaceful it had been in what felt like eternities. 

As always, Rukia was lying in the hospital bed, hooked up to monitors, bandaged almost head to toe, and appeared as if she were just sleeping and would wake up at any moment. Usually, Ichigo was sitting up—dulled ambers focused on her without hardly blinking and ready to pass out from exhaustion. However, this time, his upper body was partly on the bed, eyes closed but showed fits from under the lids. His right hand was grasping hers gently and was covered with a bandage. Judging by the hole in the wall behind him, it was apparent why his hand was banged up. Renji's chest ached and stung. Seeing this side of Ichigo, the side he secretly hoped never existed, gnawed at him. It wasn't a secret really, anyone behaving like the teen had this entire time was not something just a friend would do. And he already figured that Ichigo had feelings for Rukia too. He just had sort of hoped... 

With a sigh, he inched the rest of the way into the room. He closed the door softly behind him before grabbing one of the extra chairs in the room. He invited himself to sit beside the sleeping man, sighing again. There was reluctance in his next move, but he didn't tell Ichigo he was here.

"Hey...hey..." he said quietly, nudging the other male in a timid fashion. "Ichigo..." 

There was a deep intake of air. Ichigo mumbled something that couldn't be made out as he rubbed his eyes and stretched. He sat up, staring at Renji groggily. 

_ 'He's a damn mess...' _

"Hey there, Renji. Been a while," Ichigo greeted with a weak grin. 

"Y-yeah. Sorry about that." 

"Don't be. You're here now. And if Rukia wakes up, just imagine how we will make her day by seeing the two of us." 

"Yeah..." 

A hiss came from Ichigo, and he winced as he released Rukia's hand. "Argh..." He held the bandaged hand in his good one, massaging it with his thumb. "Damn this thing..." 

"What did you do? Why is it all banged up?" 

A sigh. "I had to use the restroom, so I thought Rukia would be okay alone for a minute. But when I came back, damn Kurotsuchi was here, hovering over her like a creep. So I went to pummel his dumb ass but he moved out of the way and I got the wall instead." 

_ 'That's better than what I had originally thought...' _ Renji leaned forward, interest peaked. "Captain Kurotsuchi was in here?" 

"Yeah. Don't know why but it couldn't have been good. Never is with that bastard." 

"Maybe he was studying her to find a way to wake her up?" 

The look that Ichigo gave him was priceless. The funniest deadpan face he had given in ages. "I'll give you a minute to rethink about what you just said and how stupid it just sounded." 

"Right." 

Silence was held between them for some time. Both were staring at Rukia, both of them were sharing their equal distraught of seeing her still like this. The quiet was broken when Ichigo shifted and cleared his throat. 

"Byakuya couldn't come today?" 

"No...he...he was sitting in front of Hisana's photo again...pretty unresponsive, too..." 

"I see..." he sighed, turning his downcast gaze off elsewhere. "He's taking this pretty hard..." 

A scoff left the lieutenant. "Speak for yourself! You haven't left this place for a whole two months!" 

"Has it really been two months?" 

"Yeah, it has. And you look like hell. You should really go rest." 

The teen shook his head, a shattered smile finding its way to invade. "Rukia needs someone she knows to wake up to. Can't imagine how painful it would be to wake up alone and not in the most familiar place." 

"Ichigo...what if she doesn't wake up?" 

There it was, that flicker of horrifying anger. But unlike in the past, Ichigo didn't bolt from his chair. He didn't scream and shove. He just...sat there, eyes briefly showing that anger that was there before they went dead again. He shook his head again, reaching out and taking her hand back in his. 

"I don't wanna give up on her, Renji. She's strong. She's gonna make it. I know she is..." 

Renji opened his mouth to say something, something profound or would trigger an episode of child-like rage, but he didn't get the chance. There was a knock before the door opened. Isane was there with a worried expression. She was fidgeting with her fingers and appeared to be on the verge of tears. Nevertheless, it was apparent that she had something she needed to tell them.

"I-I'm so sorry...but Kurosaki-san, Captain Kurotsuchi wants you to the Research and Development building as soon as humanly possible." 

Both men lost color in their faces. Kurotsuchi wanted Ichigo in his lab? No good could come from that. Especially with the story of how he was hovering over Rukia while Ichigo as in the restroom...there was definitely no good from it. 

"Why?" inquired Ichigo meekly. 

Isane shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know...he just demands you head over immediately. 

"He didn't tell you other than that?" 

"No, I'm sorry, Kurosaki-san..." 

"But Rukia..." 

Renji patted his friend's back, feeling just as worried as he did but tried to hide it better. "You should go. Maybe he'll tell you why he was being a creep. And maybe you could get a few good hits this time." He gave the younger male a nod, hoping it would ease him somehow. "Don't you worry. I'll be right here so if Rukia does wake up while you're out, she won't be alone." 

Hesitance. It oozed from every pore of Ichigo's being. But he didn't argue. Didn't protest. He simply rose to his feet, massaging his bandaged hand with his thumb. 

"Don't tell her about the Kurotsuchi thing. She doesn't need to be upset that that creep was hovering over her. 

"Renji chuckled lightly. "You can count on me." 

**× × ×**

_if I hold onto you, it hurts_

_but if I let you go, it hurts even more _

_this place is deeper than a dream inside a dream_

_I have no confidence to escape from it_

** **× × ×** **

Ominous. That's it. That's the word he was thinking of. Ominous. Ominous standing right outside Kurotsuchi's lab. Ominous being in this place. Ichigo shuddered, placing his good hand on the door. Whatever the reason Kurotsuchi wanted him here, he hoped it wouldn't be something sick and twisted. He knew he couldn't handle something like that right now. Or ever really. But especially right now. 

_ 'If it has something to do with her...' _

He forced out a labored exhale, clamping his eyes shut. The image still haunted him. Body lifeless against him, glass-like cracks crawling all over, blood sliding down pale skin... He lurched over, dry heaving for a split second. 

_'Don't...don't think about that. She's going to be fine, she's going to wake up. I know it so, don't think about it. She won't be like that for long...she's going to wake up...she has to.' _

The teen exhaled deeply, evening himself. Composing every fiber of his being to meet with the notorious captain. If he was weak right now...Rukia might never see him again. With all the strength he could muster, he pressed one of the doors open with his arm, keeping his bandaged hand close to his chest. Waiting there for him was Kurotsuchi with an unnerving smirk and Nemu who was expressionless as always. A giant tank covered with a tarp lingered behind them, not exactly easing the nerves. He slapped on fairly quick his infamous scowl, inching into the room cautiously. 

"What do you want?" 

Kurotsuchi clicked his tongue at the distrustful tone. "Always so rude. You might want to reconsider your tone of voice. After all, I've done you a rather large favor." 

_'Favor? I don't like the sound that...'_ Ichigo swallowed, keeping himself grounded. "What kind of favor?" 

The eerie little snicker that came from the not-so-ethical scientist was more than just creepy. It was bone-chilling. "Well, I have come to notice that you have been mourning the loss of the Lieutenant Kuchiki—" 

"Rukia isn't dead yet. Don't label her that." 

"Don't interrupt me!" The captain cleared his throat, adjusting his hand so that the fingertips were touching in a sinister manner. "Now, like I was saying, before being so rudely interrupted...you have apparently been mourning the Lieutenant Kuchiki, and that, rat child, is not good for us. As unfortunate it may be, the Seireitei, as well as the rest of the Soul Society, needs its little Savior Boy marching around to give hope as we continue to go through repairs in both architecture and mind. So I made a little something for you to lift your spirits and such other disgusting whatever until, as you so pathetically think, Lieutenant Kuchiki awakes." 

Every word flowing out only dug Ichigo deeper and deeper into frustration and bubbling anger until the last line. "Made something?" 

"Nemu! Drop the tarp!" 

She nodded, yanking it down as she was ordered. Upon its unveiling, the tank made a hissing noise, opening hurriedly and pouring out a stream of smoke. Once it cleared...the Shinigami's face lost all color. Her state was glossed over as if she were in a trance, and she was wearing a strange white dress that was a bit too short and decorated with silver vintage embroidery...but there was no question who was standing before him. Pale skin. Raven short hair. Amethyst eyes. 

"Rukia...?" 

"Correct! I made a robotic replica of the Lieutenant Rukia Kuchiki! Robotics is more fun to play with when I just want to dismantle them in the near future and reuse parts. Fleshy body parts rot over time, and playing with a gigai is a chore. But despite being all robotics, she carries every memory and talent the Lieutenant Kuchiki has and then a little flair in there to please you, I'm sure." 

"Get rid of it." 

The rather quick and disturbed tone of voice stunned Kurotsuchi. It was as if he had been slapped twenty times across the face. It was apparent he didn't understand Ichigo's words—didn't understand why his creation wasn't appreciated. But Ichigo didn't expect this madman to understand. To not understand the amount of bile he was forcing back just by staring at this..._this_ _thing_. How could anyone think this was okay? How could anyone create a replica of someone and think it was all hunky dory? It wasn't. Far from it. 

Ichigo took a step back, shaking his head as a tormented expression consumed him. "I don't want it. Renji won't want it. Byakuya sure as hell won't want it." 

"Well, why not?! Is she not good enough? Hmm...I guess I could tweak her body a little. Make her more...appealing." 

"It isn't Rukia!" Ichigo cried, feeling his being ache and creak under the pressure of his emotions. His beaten, battered, bruised emotions. "I want Rukia—_the_ Rukia—not...not some toy you made in a lab..." He backed up against the closed door, shaking his head more. "Get rid of it. None of us wants it. I don't want it. Go back to playing with your sick crap, but leave Rukia out of it." 

He turned to leave through the open half of the double doors, ready to vomit everywhere. Tainting Rukia like this, tainting everything about her by making a robotic, it made him sick in the very pit of his stomach. Made him want to get back to the real Rukia as soon as he could. Be there when those real violets opened. 

"Ichigo?" 

Numb. Frozen. The breath left him and his legs wouldn't move forward. It wasn't her, he knew that, but... He looked back. Looked back with ambers full of glistening water. How long had it been since he had heard that voice? Felt like centuries. Like eternities stacked upon more piles of eternities. But it wasn't her, he knew that. The real one was lying in a hospital bed, hooked up to monitors and wrapped like a mummy. So why was it...why was it that he couldn't help himself from staring back at that..._thing_? It had her face, but it wasn't her. Why...why was he looking back at it?! Why was his heart aching when their eyes locked. Why was he thinking about rushing over and wrapping his arms around that tiny frame? Why was he so weak? 

It tilted its head to the side, pure human confusion sitting there. "Ichigo? What's wrong? Why do you have such a pitiful face?" It took a step off the stand, its face crunching up with concern and sternness like its live counterpart would make. "What kind of despair have you encountered now? How many times do I have to remind you that you've overcome worse?! Whatever this is, you can get through it. You always do, you stubborn idiot." 

It even spoke like her. Ichigo's guard dropped and he faced it completely. Tears were rolling down his cheeks while he was gasping for air. It wasn't her, this fake wasn't her. He knew it and yet...as it walked towards him, cupped his face in those bitty hands, stroked his cheeks with those tiny thumbs, his mind and resolve crumbled. 

"Rukia..." he choked. "_Rukia..._" 

"Yes?" it answered softly, brows furrowed with concern. "Ichigo...what on earth happened to you? Why are you like this?" It blinked, eyes scanning him with worry. "What made you fall to this?" 

Breathing became the worst struggle he had ever endured. He closed his eyes, trying to block everything from his sight. It felt like her, too. That cool warmth...gentle warmth...how could it have even that? He choked on his silent sobs, shaking his head more. 

_ 'It's not her...not her...' _

"Ichigo? Talk to me...what's wrong?" It rested its head on his chest, sighing. "Come on, since when are you such a big baby?" 

He inhaled sharply, nearly suffocating from it. He took its wrists, tearing them off his face and taking a step back. Ambers opened to find it staring at him with a mix of hurt and surprise. Trembling, he released its wrists and took another step back. 

"Ichigo?" 

"Stop it..." 

"Ichigo? What's wrong? Why are you looking at me like that?" 

"Stop it..." 

"Ichigo? What's wrong? Tell me..." 

"SHUT UP!!!!!" 

It gasped, now fully consumed by the expression of hurt. Ichigo stepped out of the lab, shaking his head for what felt like the hundredth time since showing up. 

"You're not her...you'll never be her..." 

Before it could say anything, before its voice could trap him again, he made a run for it, never looking back. Even after that voice began screaming his name...   
  


**× × ×**

_memories that aren't ending even when it's over_

_I have no confidence to win over it_

**× × ×**

If only that photograph could talk, it would be soothing. How many times since he had _seen_ Rukia in a wailing Ichigo's arms did he wish that Hisana could speak to him again? Countless. Endless. If she were here, she would be the rock to tell him it would get better. She would be chanting the same words Ichigo had been for two months. She would believe. She wouldn't give up... 

Byakuya breathed roughly, hiding his stare behind their lids briefly. How he wished Hisana was at his side. It would make this more bearable. Right now, there was really no calm voice of reason to encourage him to believe. Everyone was losing hope in Rukia ever waking. The only one that seemed to have faith was Ichigo...but he wasn't calm...he was more like a ticking bomb of instability and the right set of words would set him off into a whirlwind of hysteria. No, what the noble needed was his wife. His adoring, soft wife... 

_ 'Hisana...if you could, please give Rukia a little while longer...I'm not ready to let her go yet...' _

Suddenly, there was a loud crash, causing the captain to perk dully. He glanced behind him to see if he could make out what had happened. To his surprise, Ichigo had collapsed onto the hardwood floor, panting heavily. Worry creased the normally monotone face. For the past two months, Ichigo had never left Rukia's side. Why was he here now? And why was he in such a state? 

"Ichigo?" Byakuya spoke, carefully rising to his feet. "Why are you here? Why are you not with Rukia?" 

Ichigo coughed and sputtered, struggling to gather his bearings. When he met gazes with the nobleman, it was immediate that was known something was not right. Byakuya stiffened, slate stare widening. 

"Ichigo..." 

"Re-Renji's with her..." wheezed the teen, finally able to at least get onto his knees. "But we...we have a problem." 

"What kind of problem?" 

"Kurotsuchi...he...he made a...thing..." 

"What kind of thing? And why does it require you to tell me?" 

Ichigo got to his feet, the look of absolute horror and agony melted deep into his being. "It looks like her...sounds like her...talks like her...hell, even feels like her..." he gulped, squeezing his eyes shut. "He made a replica of Rukia. Bastard made a replica of her!" 

Nausea overcame him. That despicable man made...made a replica like her sister? What gave him the right to do that?! The sick sensation subsided—replaced by seething fury. He flexed his fingers, often curling them into a fist. This couldn't go unpunished. Never. 

"So you saw this _thing_?" 

Ichigo nodded, still keeping his eyes shut. "I-I almost gave in to that thing. I..." 

"Was it still at Squad 12 when you left?" 

The teen nodded, ambers slowly surfacing. "It...called for me...I wanted to turn back..." 

"It's a good thing you didn't. Who knows what sort of traps Kurotsuchi placed within it." 

"Why am I being talked about like I'm not a living, breathing person?" 

Both men froze. That voice..._no_...it couldn't be... 

Numbly, they turned their attention towards the familiar voice. In a strange white dress that could have only been picked out by Kurotsuchi himself, stood Rukia, right outside the room. The stifled breath Ichigo took could have been heard for miles. The horrified expression Byakuya made could have made records. Ichigo was right. It...looked like her, sounded like her. If Byakuya hadn't been warned he certainly would've been fooled. And the way it held itself, it was eerily like Rukia. Even the pained gaze it gave was like Rukia. Everything...like Rukia... 

"Why are you two looking at me like that?" it asked, sounding ready to cry. "What is wrong with everyone?!" 

"Ichigo, go." 

The teen gaped at the captain with shock. He opened his mouth to protest but was stopped when he was blocked from its view. 

"Go." 

The Kuchiki sternness was not something to argue with. Reluctantly, Ichigo ran off, leaving them alone together. Byakuya continued to stare at it as if to scrutinize every fiber of its being. This wasn't Rukia. There were flaws, errors somewhere. But it was Kurotsuchi's work...it was flawless on the outside. Completely and utterly flawless. He could see where Ichigo's fragile state would have allowed him to briefly show a moment of weakness when in the same vicinity of this thing. Which was why he was asked to leave. Even though he knew it wasn't Rukia, more than likely...he would break, would defend it, wouldn't allow Byakuya to destroy it... 

A quivering hand outstretched to the thing wearing his sister's face. Fingers curled until one was left to point at it. Just a Byakurai through the chest, that would do the trick. That would end this thing's short life once and for all. Would destroy any more suffering it could cause by masquerading as Rukia. 

"Nii...Nii-sama?" the voice cracked with orbs clouded with betrayal and distraught. "What are you doing? What...what is wrong with you? What is wrong with Ichigo? Is Renji like this, too? And Captain Ukitake? Everyone? Why...what happened? Did I do something wrong while I was asleep?" 

The more it spoke, the more challenging it became for the noble to hold his ground. He continued to shake and stare at this object created by Kurotsuchi with a torn expression. This wasn't Rukia...Rukia was lying in a bed in Squad 4... Rukia was in a comatose. This...this thing wasn't... 

Distraught and betrayal shifted. Blood chilling glaring shot forth from those farce violets—causing Byakuya to freeze even more. This...this was not a look Rukia gave. At least not around him. It was cold, heartless, even murderous. It slid a bare foot forward onto the hardwood floor, faint rickety jerks in the movement. 

"It's because she's still alive, isn't it? If she were dead, you would accept me. You would think I was her and embrace me with open arms." it growled, eyes flickering with electricity and revealing the gears working behind them. "You would be more willing to love me like you love her. Cherish me like you cherish her. Protect me like you protect her." 

It moved further into the room—the movements uneven and twitchy. Something wrong was going on...but what? Slate eyes watched with confusion and fear. 

_ 'Do it. Say the Kidō...what's stopping you? This is not Rukia...' _

The knock-off of his sister was right in front of him before he knew it. Two hands placed on his chest. Sadness twisted with hatred sat in the eyes, still flickering with electricity and gears. 

"I will just have to make you all see. I am Rukia. The one lying in a coma is fake. I'm the real thing. _I am Rukia._" 

Byakuya's breath stalled as blue energy formed around the hands of the replica. 

"Ye lord! Mask of blood and flesh, all creation, flutter of wings, ye who bears the name of Man! On the wall of blue flame, inscribe a twin lotus. In the abyss of conflagration, wait at the far heavens." Violets glowed as it pushed itself more into Byakuya, softly humming the next set of words. "Hadō Number Seventy-three...Sōren Sōkatsui." 

**× × ×**

_love, in the end is a lie to just one person_

_now look at me forgetting you_

_with your eyes wide open_

**× × ×**

"Renji! Renjiiiii!" 

The shinigami's cries echoed through the halls of Squad 4's healing facilities, causing strange looks to fall upon him. He shoved past them, frantically racing to Rukia's room. He had to tell Renji what was going on. Had to get someone to stop it from possibly coming here. Or at least help him hold down the fort if it somehow got past Byakuya. He was positive that it couldn't have—Byakuya's will was stronger than his own. But if there was a chance... 

"Renji!" He burst through the door, slamming it shut and locking it so that there was no interference while he explained what was going on. "Renji! We have a big problem! That sick bastard Kurotsuchi—" 

Silence. Numbed. Quivering. His crimson-haired friend was lying on the floor—unconscious. And hovering near Rukia was... 

"How—" 

It glanced up at him, emotionless. "How did I here before you? Easy." It walked over to him slowly, its movements jerking every so often. "I have all her talents, but I'm better than her. Stronger than her. Faster than her. Smarter than her." 

Ichigo backed up, eyes wide with terror as it kept approaching him in what felt like a horror movie manner. "What did you do to Renji? Byakuya?" 

"Renji will wake. Nii-sama will, too. They were just in my way. Didn't accept me. All because _she_ still breathes." 

The amount of hatred when it said "she"...it was overwhelming. Stole his breath for a split second. He bumped into the door, shaking tremendously. His mind utterly shut down. He was in a state of panic. Panic and aching. It stopped mere inches in front of him, finally expressing an expression...sadness... 

"She loves you, you know. But she's too much of a coward to say it." It breathed with hurt. "She's happy that you're always here with her, watching over her. Happy that you keep having faith in her. But she hates it...hates it that you're mourning too much...that you're so lost within this grief that you are unable to function without someone forcing you to. It's pitiful...and she hates that she has hurt you so much..." 

The fear left him, replaced with shock. The fake carried every memory Rukia had. So...did that mean... 

"You're such a fool, Ichigo," it chuckled, leaning its head against his chest. "But you're my fool. Please...stop giving me such pitiful looks. It hurts seeing you so lost in despair. You're better than that." Its gaze met his as it smile that..._that smile_. "Do I have to knock some sense into you again? Honestly, you're hopeless." 

Vomit...he wanted to vomit. Was this the flair Kurotsuchi meant? This farce was being softer than Rukia would have been. By now he would've been scolded and then when he had found himself again he would see that smirk. Instead, it spoke to him as if they were lovers or the like. He shook his head, choking on air, burning his eyes, ready to claw out his heart. 

"Stop..." 

It patted his cheek, chuckling sweetly. "What am I going to do with you? You're honestly such a fool. Doing things to make me worry." 

"Stop..." 

"Let's get out of this place. It must feel depressing. You don't do well with depressing things." 

"Please...stop..." 

"Maybe I can make some curry for you? I know how much you love my curry." 

**"STOP IT!!!"**

He grabbed its wrists, forcing it off of him with every inch of strength his wearied body held. His strength apparently was greater than he thought. It toppled over, landing with a hard thud onto the floor. The look it gave him when it registered that it had been shoved violently by him... 

Ichigo looked like he was choking as he fell to his knees, horrified with himself. "Rukia...I'm sorry...I'm sorry...I didn't mean..." 

Wait...he was apologizing...why? This wasn't her...so why... 

It bowed its head, making crying sounds. The shoulders even shook as if racked with sobs. This only made Ichigo's mind deteriorate more. It sounded like her...God did it sound like her. He held his good hand out...only to have it snatched with great force and felt nails dig into his flesh. 

"A-ah!" 

"Why...why the hell does no one accept me? Nii-sama was going to kill me...Renji screamed at me...but you..." It raised its head, revealing electric blue eyes filled with sparks and whirling gears behind the iris', and anger. So much anger and loathing. "You are what hurts the worse! I'm real! Can't you see?! So why won't you take me?! Why won't you speak to me, snap at me, look at me the way you do HER?!" 

He flinched, too stunned to properly react. His wrist was tossed away, a slight snapping sound emanating from it. He let out a blood-curdling scream, grabbing it with his bad hand. There was a piece of bone poking out and blood oozed from the fresh wound. 

"I'm the real one...she's the fake! You care more about that fake than me!" it roared, connecting its foot to the side of his head. "I'm real! I'm real I'm real I'm real! I'm Rukia Kuchiki! She's the impostor! I'm the real one! How could you have been fooled?!" It kicked him in the gut as he struggled to get back up. "I thought we were nakama! I thought that no matter what we wouldn't change! You lied to me, Ichigo! You want her! You want the fake and not me!" It kicked him again, letting out an infuriated screech. "I will fix this. I will make things better. I will make you see..." It crouched down, gripping at his hair and yanking him to his knees. "I will destroy her..." 

Ambers bulged. No...no, it couldn't. He wouldn't allow it! Despite his wrist being broken and his other hand damaged, he wrapped them around its throat and tightened his hold. He wouldn't allow it to touch her...never! That would be over his dead body! Its own eyes bulged, gawking at him in horror. A tear ran down its pale cheek, making him cease functioning. 

"You...you want to kill me, too?" it whimpered. "Why...why, Ichigo? How could you...how could you betray me like this?" Its horror turned into something sinister._"You bastard!"_

It took his wrists and flung him over it. He landed on his back, sputtering and gasping for air. Before he could have time to recover, it stomped on his chest, sending forth a horrendous wheezing sound. Sparks flew from the eyes—the body jerked and twitched violently. It was as if it were malfunctioning. 

"You were supposed to love me!" it bellowed, the voice becoming distorted. "You were supposed to look at me the same way as you do to that fake! You are an idiot, Ichigo! I love you! I love you...unlike her who's too much of a coward to tell you that!" It stomped on his chest again, a slight cracking sound ringing. "Why do you defy me?! Why do you hate me?! Am I not good enough?! Am I not what you wanted?! Am I not what any of you wanted?! Why?!" 

The stomping became repetitive. Ichigo could feel his ribs starting to creak and give way to the pressure. 

"Why why why why why why why why _why why why WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY **WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY?!**_" 

Then, as sudden as it all had happened, it stopped. He stared up at it, his labor breathing and mind going into a haze. It stared back at him...mouth agape, violets going white and only showing the halted gears, and body hung in midair. Behind it was Kurotsuchi and Nemu, who likely picked the lock to get in here. The captain had his hand near the back of his creation's neck, something sticking out of the farce flesh. 

"What a pity...she malfunctioned." he clicked his tongue. "Oh well. I suppose I should just stick with what I usually do. Robotics is too easily glitchy." He threw a disapproving look at Nemu, briskly leaving her behind. "Take the failure, Nemu. We need to dismantle it." 

"Yes, sir." 

Rukia's replica was swooped up, easily carried by the scientist's lieutenant. The door slammed, leaving the chilled air in the room where Renji laid unconscious, Ichigo laid barely able to breathe, and Rukia was still asleep to the world. The turn of events was...surreal. Almost felt like a horrible nightmare. But it hadn't been. That all happened. Ichigo shut his eyes, gritting his teeth together as his body arched upward. And even though he was in tremendous pain, even though it stung to breathe, he unleashed the most heart wrenching, fury fueled, mind stopping scream in the existence of any who had life in them... 

  
  


**× × ×**

_my heart is still remembering_

_everything was the same_

**× × ×**

"Ichigo? Hey...Ichigo?" 

"Mmm?" 

Part of the warmth at the side left—leaving a residue of it behind beginning to be swallowed by the cold. 

"W-wow! Hey guys! There's a lot of you here today. Rukia's gonna like that if she wakes up." 

"Ichigo...it's been three months..." 

"So? What's your point, Chad?" 

"Kurosaki-kun..." 

"We're here to say our good-byes." 

A squeezing motion was made...more rough than usual. 

"Wh-what?" 

"Ichigo-kun...we're sorry...but she hasn't woken in three months..." 

"S-s-so?! What's your point?!" 

"The point is...she's not waking up, kid." 

"Yes, she is! She's gonna wake up! I know it!" 

"I-I tried to tell them the same thing, Ichigo-san...but...they do have a point...she's not going to wake up..." 

"She knew the risks of her Bankai..." 

"No! She's waking up! She _will_ wake up!" 

The comfort of the hand left...leaving emptiness. 

"Rukia is going to wake up! You can't pull the plug now!" 

"Ichigo...she's been in a coma for three months..." 

"So?! There are people in the World of the Living that has been in comas longer and people haven't given up on them! What if this was Mom, Dad?!" 

"That's not fair, Onii-chan!" 

"You can't use Mom like that!" 

"Cuz...you need to calm—" 

"Don't you fucking tell me to calm down, Ganju! This is Rukia we're talking about! You can't just...you can't just kill her!" 

"She's already dead." 

"No, she isn't! She's still alive! She's still in there! Give her more time!" 

"You need to calm down, Ichigo. Ever since that event with that replica Kurotsuchi made...you haven't been in your right mind. You even refused to have treatment for your injuries unless you were here with her." 

"That's because she doesn't deserve to wake up alone!" 

"Ichigo...buddy...look...we know that she means a lot to you—" 

"SHUT UP!!! YOU WON'T KILL HER!!!" 

"Whoa! Put the sword down!" 

"I will take out anyone that dares touch her..." 

"This is ridiculous! Do you see yourself?! You're in no position taking us all on!" 

"I wasn't either when I saved her from you bastards trying to execute her..." 

"Ichigo! What the hell is wrong with you?! Back off! You're only gonna get yourself killed!" 

"Then I'm taking you with me!" 

There was a tearful exhale that rang in the ears. 

"You can't...you can't do this...this is Rukia...she's stronger than that...she's...she's going to wake up...you'll see..." 

_ 'Ichigo...' _

"I won't let you have her! You can't...you can't..." 

Broken...so broken. It wasn't like all his words had gone by without being heard for these painful three months. But this...this was the worst of it all... 

_ 'Ichigo...' _

"Son...you have to let go..." 

"You never let go of Mom..." 

"That's not fair. That's not..." 

"C'mon...there's gotta be somebody that thinks this is wrong...you can't all just be...content with killing her..." 

"We aren't, but..." 

"But you'd rather just give up and let her die than watch her sleep every day!?" 

"That's not it, Kurosaki-san..." 

"Then what is it?! Tell me! How could any of you think to do this?! Especially you, Byakuya! This is your sister, dammit! Stand up for her!" 

_ 'Ichigo...Ichigo...' _

A tiny moan finally crawled out from the silent throat. Fingers twitched rapidly, grateful for finding feeling again. There was deafening quiet as she at last showed signs of life. 

Rukia's eyes opened groggily, everything was a blur. Awake...she was awake. She wasn't trapped within her anymore. She was alive, alive and well. She blinked a few times to adjust her vision. Everything became clear. She saw everyone. Renji. Byakuya. Isshin. Yuzu. Karin. Captain Ukitake. Head Captain Kyōraku. Lieutenant Ise. Isane. Lieutenant Matsumoto. Captain Hitsugaya. Kiyone. Sentarō. Hanataro. Orihime. Chad. Uryuu. Keigo. Mizuiro. Tatsuki. They were all there, gaping at her like she was some form of ghost. She blinked, turning her head to her left. 

"I...chi...go..." she breathed, eyes fixated on him. 

He was worse for wear. One wrist wrapped in a cast, a hand covered in bloody bandages, and wrappings all up his chest. His face was worn down and exhausted. His eyes were deeply bruised from lack of sleep. But the minute she uttered his name...his pale cheeks became stained with unconscious tears and his dulled eyes lit up like the sun. 

"Rukia...you're awake!" 

The choked sound he made, it broke her heart. If it was any other time, she would have scolded him and replied with a sharp remark. But knowing the suffering he had gone through, having listened to his voice every single day for three months speaking fondly to her...she couldn't bring herself to do it. Instead, she raised her arms weakly at him, crying softly. Confused, he leaned in, apparent from his eyes that he was about to ask her what was wrong. She didn't allow him to. She clung to him with all the strength she could, burying her face in his bare shoulder, and sobbed. 

"Thank you...thank you for being such a stubborn hardass..." she whispered, wrapping her arms around him tighter. "Thank you for being by my side...I was so afraid in that place..." 

She half-expected him to ask her what that place was. That frightening, dark, lonely place. She half-expected him to ask if she was okay since she never had done this in all the time they knew each other. But he didn't. Instead, she felt his warm arms hold her, keeping her strongly upright. He didn't say a word...but by the way he held her, the way he shook with her, she knew what he was saying. 

_ 'I'm not going anywhere. Never. I'll always be right here.' _

**× × ×**

_but I couldn't erase you_

_because my heart was too sad_

**× × ×**


End file.
